What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +52

math test 2=2

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

penis hehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Halo < COD

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops