Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Japan called... They need help.

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Canada

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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