Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

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666

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What happened to the boy who wanted to jump off a cliff? He jumped off a cliff.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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