Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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baby loves lalma

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Women's football

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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96

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops