Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

thumb_up thumb_down

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

if u have a problem with this then comment !!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there My dick

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

42

thumb_up thumb_down -4

slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops