How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Women's rights...

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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