What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

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Gabe Mercado

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Women's rights.

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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Rock mattress.

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What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

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69

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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