I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

penis hehehehe

Women's football

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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