-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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poop

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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