A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops