Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Hellen Keller

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Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

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Do you need any assistance?

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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BOOBIES!!!!!!!

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Adam gives a new view of roid rage

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops