What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

What do you call a mexican hopping over fences - A parkour Artist

two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

What is a question?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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