What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

8

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

thumb_up thumb_down +45

There's no "i" in tim.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Nobody cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Christopher Walken to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops