How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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hey bill!

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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