Why do Kenyans run so much? Because they like it.

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Your mom

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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