Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

A child with cancer grows up.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

josh roberts you speccy cuunt

Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

one swipe, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAH! know what i mean, Paul....are you ok?....nooo...., you know the lettuce in antarctica is pretty questionable

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

Women

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...