Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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what do snozberries taste like? Lama

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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who eats pencils asians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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