Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Women's sports

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops