How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Kah-________-

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Turn around.

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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How many dislikes can this get?

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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