What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A blind man walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Women's sports

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

i love huge wieners.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops