A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

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A fat boy walked into a party

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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gay rights

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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