How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Knock knock What

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops