See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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BWAT

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Society.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Your social life

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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