Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

thumb_up thumb_down +30

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops