What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A 36 year old Canadian woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He says ow

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops