A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Whats9+10 19

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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Mitt Romney for president.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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BOOBIES!!!!!!!

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Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

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Where's my tractor?

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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