If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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The Economy

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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Flab

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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