Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A woman went out and had a great time with her friends. Then she walked home alone and got viciously raped by 4 large black men.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The Economy

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops