in the begining... god made some stuff

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

potatoes

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

boobs

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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