What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

i dislike sack in my mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -33

your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Womens' rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

you know what hurts.... PAIN

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops