What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Your social life

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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