- Anti Joke

how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

robin, get in the car.

An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't