A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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Gestapo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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ugh good riddance

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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