Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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Flab

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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