I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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223

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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