How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

Is this a chair?

What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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