How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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hey.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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