Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

WILSON!!!!!!!!!

YOU IS DUM

Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

Why did the bunny eat his food

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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