Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

I cant think of one (._. )

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

What did the man do with his bread He ate it

A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...