GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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Canada

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops