Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Hellen Keller

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hey.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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