your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Left. That one direction...

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Kah-________-

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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