Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

thumb_up thumb_down -132

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Guess What? What? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops