Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

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What's worse than death? Not a lot!

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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A woman comes at the doctor.

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What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Who has downs this joke

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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what do you get when you throw a refrigerator at a boy on a bike? a severely injured boy, a lawsuit , a police record and a prison mate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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