What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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Do you need any assistance?

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Compton

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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Whats another word for Thesaurus?

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops