How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

Unflushed Shit...

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

i love huge wieners.

Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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