A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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The Holocaust

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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women have rights

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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