You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

George Bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops