A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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stop it ryan vallee

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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Hey

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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