Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why Sam Vitale gay? Because he loves men!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock *No one was home*

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

k

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hummer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sandusky went from Penn State, to the State Penn.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

8===========D O:

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops