What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Paul Dylan King!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

69

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops