How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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