Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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