Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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